Selfish-Eden

Thanks to my sister, who let me know that some dipshit has stolen some of my devs, including an older one I think kinda sucked. WTF is wrong with people? I'm not linking to the thief because I'm not going to give the fucktard the satisfaction of a single pageview.

I deleted the devs in question, but not before contacting the website with screenshots of my page informing them that the works would be taken down, so no one can use the excuse of, "I thought I was crediting her by hotlinking the image," which is bullshit someone tried to pull with a photo.

Seriously, WTF? If you're going to steal, people, why not steal from people with more talent?!

As some of you know, I had a bit of a financial snafu not too long ago. Just because it's no longer a looming issue in need of immediate attention doesn't mean I returned to my old ways -- far from it.

I've started couponing and have already received $45 in goods for free. Each time I'm tempted to buy something, I ask myself, "How much use will I really get out of this?" If the answer is, "It's not practical for everyday use," I don't buy it.

I feel I've grown as a person; I'm more sensible now, and I wanted to share some of my newfound knowledge with the few of you who read my journal. So every couple of weeks, I'll update with some tips from various sources.

First up, my step-father, the vice president of a publicly traded company, gives financial and professional advice. Warning: he is the Gregory House of the company. His advice, while truthful, is not always what people want to hear.

Tip #1: How Not To Get Hired

With the economy verging on a double-dip, people are scrambling to find better jobs. Here are some things you should never, ever do.

"I had this kid come in for an interview, unqualified, no experience, 'I have to have this job. My girlfriend is pregnant with our third, and we need the money.' Whoa! Don't have kids when money is tight. Would you buy a new car or a house when you're living paycheck to paycheck? Then stop having kids! And don't tell a prospective employer they have to hire you because your life sucks. They won't. I didn't."

Yikes! What a moron. What else is a big no-no?

"Don't reveal your age or the year you graduated college or high school. HR handles that; an interviewer legally can't ask. If they do, or they ask inappropriate questions like whether you have kids or your sexual orientation, you don't have to answer. The reason being, age dates you. We want to get as many years as we can out of somebody."

Good to know. Anything else?

"Know the company. When they ask why you chose to apply, be able to tell them, 'I think you did (whatever) well and want to be a part of that.' Saying you don't know anything about them says, 'I have no ambition and can't do research.' Never reveal that you want to leave the company. The 'where do you see yourself in five years?' question is a trap. 'I want to own my own business.' No! You fucking lost the job to the person who said. 'I want to grow within the company and become the best (whatever job you're applying for) this company has.' Don't say, 'I want your job,' or 'president of the company!' Neither of those are realistic, and they're threatening."

These are common mistakes?

"I hear them all the fucking time when I interview. Another big mistake is people say they don't have faults, or their fault is perfectionism. Don't fucking do that. Everyone does that. Man up. Tell the interviewer you watch too much TV and would like to cut back and read more. Whatever you do, don't say you're lazy even if it's true. Tell a partial truth: 'I'm more laid back in a fast-paced world. It was hard for me to learn to keep up.' This says you're not a high-strung idiot. You realized you had a problem and corrected it."

So what are your faults?

"I can't see shit without glasses. And I can't spell. Who needs to spell anymore? Fuck it; just hit F7!"

Tip #2: Be Smart With Money

Aieeee... You see what I live with? How about tips on money? We all need those.

"I have tips on finances and money-related topics. Don't lend money to anyone. When you had that loan pop up, half the people you buy presents for and lend money to didn't offer you so much as ten bucks. I'd be through with them all if I were you. Learn from your mistake, and readers, learn from her mistake. Never give anybody shit. They won't help you if you need it."

That's a little unfair. Besides, it was taken care of.

"Who can't afford ten bucks? That isn't unfair. My dad was a Hollywood producer -- I had three pairs of pants, two pairs of shoes, and five shirts. Everybody thought I had no style, but my parents spent all their money on themselves. Point being, no one knows the situation. You could live like a king and personally be flat broke."

Moving on... I'm going to leave that because it is good advice, and it's a good point.

"Damn straight it is. And another thing -- I keep hearing, 'I'm doing everything I can to save money, and I can't make ends meet!' Do you use coupons? Then fucking start! Do you have cable? Kill your TV set and use Hulu or Pirate Bay. A guy at work was bitching and whining he couldn't make rent, but he has a $12,000 stamp collection. Is it fair that you may need to sell your shit to make money? No, but it's just shit. You have a responsibility to your family to put paying the rent before stamps or guns. If you're not willing to do what you fucking need to be doing, then shut up! I sold my motorcycle to pay for my kid's braces. It sucked, but you know something? I didn't miss it after the first month."

I never knew that was why you sold the bike. You said Mom didn't want you riding it because she was afraid you'd die in a fiery collision.

"That's because I did what I was fucking supposed to do, and I didn't whine about it. It was something I had to do, so I did it. I don't know why people have such a hard time just doing what they need to do."

Neither do I. Speaking of, I'd better let you get back to doing what you need to be doing.

"You just don't want to listen to me swear anymore."

Fuckin' A!

"That's my girl."

Coming soon, The Best Advice I Ever Got, with our own notonanyflatbread!